Mapping

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I was planning to have a masterpiece for you to read and enjoy. Instead, I have the start to a satirical look at our current lifestyles and it is not finished. Instead, you get a rant on maps.

I can read a map. That is the extent I go. I get lost with simple directions. I cannot draw to save my life. And when I am trying to run a game of D&D, my players end up taking two weeks to traverse a path that earlier took them two days. So I am not good with maps. I finally start moving past the timeline issues and I realize I am lost in a world I created. Worse, my characters are lost. Good grief. No big deal though, this issue shall pass. I just have to spend some time on it. How are your personal projects coming?

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A Random Thought

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I am not a song writer, not even close. However, this limerick popped in my head a few years ago. It has a country feel to it and it is not finished. I do not know where to go next with it. Any thoughts?

I was walking late last night,
And you were on my mind.
I was thinking of all those times
We were walking side by side.

You were holding my hand
I was holding yours
We would be together
For all of time.

Reading and What-not

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I have been Christmas shopping and tending to a very sick child. So, I have not had a chance to re-write any of my work and make it decent enough for you fine readers. I have had time enough to go over timeline issues in my novel and maybe read a chapter in a book, but other than that, nothing. Life has been exhausting.

I have noticed that I still post the occasional post on twitter and Facebook, summing life up to just a few characters. It left me wondering if perhaps social media might be killing the creative writer’s creativity. Hmmm, something to think about I suppose.

I have decided that I will start reviewing books as well as giving you my work to read. I am going to be reading anyway, might as well relay what was great or horrible about a book. If you have any thoughts on a fiction book you want me to review, drop me a line in the comments.

The Confession, Part 2 of the Diary of Jade Series

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Dear Diary,

I haven’t written in a while, like six days. But you are just a notebook, so who cares? I couldn’t concentrate in school today. I kept thinking about the boy in the mirror. So, when I got home from school, I told mom about the boy in the mirror. I didn’t tell her I had magic powers in the dream, just about the reflection looking like me. I don’t need my mom laughing at me for such a silly dream. Anyway, you will never believe what happened!

So I tell mom and she says I had a twin. She is all nonchalant like and says he was miscarried at six months along. She said she believes in twin connection and thinks I have some twin connection with him even though he never got to be born. Like who keeps that a secret? I am 16 years old, I have my driving license. Surely I am responsible enough to handle that kind of information. Like, I am so mad that my mom didn’t tell me sooner.

So anyway, I called Lindsey and told her what Mom said. She was like “whoa that is messed up” and I was like, “I know right?”

To make things worse, I am so going crazy. I swear I saw that boy or twin or whatever behind me in the mirror after gym. The lights totally burnt up; like all of them like in the movies. It was some crazy Carrie shit and then the reflection was gone. So I am going crazy, right? Of course I am. The dream is totally messing with me.

I’ve got homework to do, I’m out.

-Jade

Writer’s Block

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I sit, staring at a blank page.
Wondering what to sage,
But nothing comes to mind,
Writer’s block is so unkind.

The page beckons to me;
It wants words for all to see.
But nothing comes to mind,
Writer’s block is so unkind.

I need something to write,
Something with edge and bite.
But nothing comes to mind,
Writer’s block is so unkind.

Writer’s block is so unkind,
Nothing is coming to mind.
My mind trapped in a cage,
As I stare at a black page.

Insatiable

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The following was written several years ago. The concept, I feel is decent. However, the writing is a mess. Read with a grain of salt.

 

August 2005

Jenna was a tall brunette. Her hair was a deep chestnut brown, full of natural spiral curls. Her eyes were as brown as her hair and as big and open as the midnight sky. Her lips were luscious and full. People paid thousands of dollars for injections to get the lips she was born with. She was a beautiful girl, but she never thought so because of her plump figure. Quite voluptuous, but she only noticed her stomach. This twenty-year-old girl was living on her own, two days away from anyone she ever knew. No family, no friends, and she had just gotten out of a horrid relationship. She didn’t think she would ever find love, not real love. She didn’t even think she deserved such a notion.
She started working again; she was on her own now, she had to survive. Working meant meeting people. It was just an unfortunate side effect in the opinion of her depressed state. After some time, she started making friends. Mike and Alexis was a married couple on her new friends list. They considered her family. She didn’t even have to knock whenever she came over. And it was never a worry or concern to them if it had been a while since she last stopped by to say hi. To them, it was just a quirk of hers.
On a rainy afternoon Jenna was working at the gas station, having one of her low moments of depression. She felt empty and alone. As she stood from her stool to start some of her cleaning chores, Mike and Alexis came waltzing in with a few of their friends. One of which was a very handsome stranger.  She was both shocked and mortified to hear herself greet the new man.
“Well, hello cutie!”
She did her best to hide her embarrassment, but she couldn’t hide it form her friends. Noticing her embarrassment, Mike quickly invited her to a night of card playing and goofing around. And then he cut the meeting short. Flashing a sympathetic smile to Jenna as he and the group left the building into the dark afternoon. After some thinking, Jenna decided to go. Of course she would go, the cute stranger would be there.
When she arrived to the house, the stranger was indeed there. He was a tall man, slightly taller than her. He had a natural deep tan, just dark enough to really make his eyes stand out. Eyes were her ‘thing,’ the one thing she always noticed on a person. She felt as though she could see into the souls of people through their eyes. His were blue, jellybean blue; but they were empty. That was so alluring to her, she wanted to fill them, make them full of something…anything. He was thin for a man, but you could see signs of muscle beneath his black tee. His hair hung to his ear lobes, and his nails painted black. Not what one might consider attractive, but Jenna thought he was gorgeous.
“A dark soul,” she thought. “Maybe he is as tortured and heart broken as I am.”
He was introduced to her as Andrew, and liked how the name seemed to suit him. All night, the group of friends laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. Jenna enjoyed the company of Andrew more than she did the others. Over the next six weeks, she saw Andrew just about every other day. They spent most of their time together; and after a couple of months, Andrew said he loved her.
She repeated the sentiment to him, never sure if she meant it. The word ‘love’ itself seemed to mask her growing depression. She hoped that maybe saying it would help all the more. Besides, she didn’t know what love was, so maybe she did feel it after all.
For three years they were together, living together. Somehow, despite him calling her names, belittling her, embarrassing her, even cheating on her, they remained together. He apologized for the time he cheated on her. He explained how he had an insatiable urge to be with women, to be loved. It was an insatiable urge to find the woman that would truly love him and become pregnant to show him her love. Jenna claimed to understand, and said she would have his child. She didn’t know if she was ready, but she wanted to please him. Maybe part of it was for all the good things he did for her. He helped her to pay her rent, pay all of her bills. When she was sick, he would bring her a flower. He would hold her and cuddle her when she was having a nightmare, he even told her how he loved her when she was feeling her worst. She could handle his insatiable urge to find love. She felt she needed love too.
Late one night, Andrew came home with an engagement ring. He kneeled beside her on the floor, and proposed. The ring wasn’t much because they couldn’t afford much. But Jenna didn’t care. She excitedly accepted and told him how she would be the best wife a woman could ever be.
“I don’t care how good you are, as long as you prove you love and conceive my child.” He said to her in a stern, almost demeaning voice. She knew he didn’t mean to sound angry; it was just his dream. His insatiable dream.
About two weeks after the proposal, Jenna was shopping for groceries, when she ran into someone she hadn’t seen since high school. It was Jessica, an old friend who had betrayed Jenna’s secrets long ago. But the two started talking anyway, Jenna needed a friend. They met for lunch, and talked as though no time had ever passed. Soon, Jenna learned that Jessica had a two-year-old son. In the pictures she had seen, he was adorable. It wasn’t long after their chance meeting, that the two began hanging out at each other’s apartment. Jenna mainly went to Jessica’s, because Andrew didn’t like the girl. He didn’t even want the two spending time together. But Jenna didn’t care. She had lost all of her friends when she and Andrew started dating. She needed a friend; she needed someone outside of Andrew.
Early one September evening, Andrew called home to say he was working late. It had been happening a lot at his factory. The holidays were fast approaching, and Jenna figured they were trying to get caught up before the New Year began. This spoiled her evening a little; she had dinner on the stove. His favorite, spaghetti; she even had his favorite beer. She had exciting news to tell him. She had been waiting for a week and half to tell him she was finally pregnant. She was waiting for the perfect moment, tonight’s dinner, to be exact. She couldn’t wait any longer, she would tell him tonight when he got home anyway. However, the night grew late and she finally fell victim to her exhaustion.

Seven Years Later

Jenna woke from her sleep, but something was wrong. Her bedroom was rearranged, and a strange couple slept in her bed right next to her. She was completely terrified, and screaming in horror for Andrew. He never came, and there was something else…the couple never flinched when she screamed. Something was terribly wrong.
It wasn’t long before she realized she was dead, she was a ghost now, in someone else’s world. She moved about the small apartment looking for anything that would tell her the date, so she could know how long she had been dead. A calendar in the kitchen held her answer; September of 2013.
“Dead for seven years? But…how? Why? I was pregnant!” she screamed. It wasn’t like anyone could hear her now anyway. She closed her eyes in despair, thinking only of Andrew. She was so desperate to see him, to know how he was doing.
When she opened her eyes, she was somewhere new. It looked like the living room of Jessica’s apartment. No sooner did she notice the resemblance did Andrew walk through the front door.
“Honey!” he yelled. Jessica smiled at him as she came out of the kitchen. “Babe! I have got some vodka, wine, and beer! I thought we should get a sitter for the kids to celebrate our seven year anniversary in style!”
“Anniversary?” Jenna thought. “They’re married? Wait, kids? Seven years? She only had one child, and they must have married right after my death!” Jenna was yelling as the shock of everything was sinking in. Andrew had moved on and rapidly. Now she was desperate to live again. It was an insatiable urge to be alive and taste the air, to breathe once more.

One Week Later

Nurses were moving about a hospital room, preparing for something that must have been important.
“I can’t believe she has been in a coma for seven years and no one has ever come to see her!” said a short doctor in an angered and saddened voice. “Before we pull the plug, I want to know this girl’s first name. Someone has to wish her peace.”
“Jenna.” Responded a petite nurse.
They took a few moments of silence to wish her happiness in her after life. Then, they started to unhook all of the life support. As the doctor was preparing to remove the heart monitor it beeped, an indication of a heart beat. But there was nothing to keep her alive anymore. The hospital staff stood in silence, pondering if it was a glitch. No. It beeped again! Before anyone could say a word, Jenna took a deep, exasperated breath and opened her eyes.
Jenna was alive. She spent the next six weeks in the hospital rehabilitating. Everyone was stunned that she could wake after a seven-year coma, and without any brain damage. The doctor, who was kind enough to wish her peace, was also kind enough to get all the details he could find of the event that put her here. Jenna had learned that she was attacked in her sleep,
At first, the police thought it was a robbery gone wrong, but nothing was stolen, their next suspects were Andrew and Jessica respectively. But there was no evidence to support that either. Finally the case became cold, and was filed away as unsolved. The more Jenna learned, the more she began to remember.
She could remember someone moving in the dark corners of her room. She could remember the pain in her head where she was hit. She could remember so much more pain, but she couldn’t remember from what or why.
When she was released from the hospital, she went strait to Jessica’s apartment. She knocked on the door, and a very stunned, surprised, and bewildered Andrew opened the door.
“Jenna! Wait…Jenna?” exclaimed Andrew with eyes wide in curiosity.
Jenna leapt forward into his arms and hugged him. He reluctantly hugged back, and she never noticed his delay. He invited her in, and she saw Jessica standing in horror and shock.
“Thank you!” Jenna started. “For taking care of my Andrew all this time. You are a better friend than I ever realized!”
A little puzzled, Jessica responded, “Umm, sure…I guess. Uh, no problem.”
“I’m okay now.” Her eyes went from Jessica to Andrew, “Let’s go, honey. We have to get a new place. Someone lives in ours now.”
Andrew motioned for Jenna to sit down, and she did. “Uh, Jenna…Jenna, Jessica and I are married now. We have been married for four years, and we have a little girl now. I can’t just leave all of this. You have basically been dead for the last seven years, and I moved on.”
“I was dead. I even saw you two when I was a ghost. I saw you on your anniversary….” Jenna began to trail off, her eyes shooting towards the floor. Then suddenly, the pain, horror, and anger flooded her face. “You’re anniversary! It was a seven-year anniversary when I was dead. Yet, somehow, you have only been married four friggin years? You!” She jumped from her seat, trembling and waiving her finger at Andrew. “You killed me! You’re the reason I died!”
“You weren’t really dead. I mean you are here now. It must have been just a coma.” Andrew stated in a calm, caring voice, as if to soothe Jenna. Jessica seemed to meld into her wall as she avoided to the wrath of the very angry Jenna.
Jenna’s face was red from the excitement of her anger, tears streamed from her big brown eyes. Her heart breaking all over again as she remembered the night Andrew had killed her. “Why? I need to know why you killed me.”
“You were acting strange. Jessica and I were afraid you knew about us. I didn’t  want to see your heart break again from me cheating on you again. And Jessica, well, she had her own reasons.” Replied Andrew in a voice not befitting of the moment.
Jenna’s eyes darted back and forth between Jessica and Andrew as she realized Jessica had been in on it. She stared at Jessica, waiting, wanting to know why, Jessica finally responded.
“I’m sorry. But ever since high school, I have had this insatiable urge to ruin your life. Yours was always so much better than mine, and I wanted to destroy it! Finally, the chance to calm my insatiable urges came, and I took it!”
Jenna turned a heated glare to Andrew. Her anger filled her, and her eyes were of a fiery rage. “I was acting strange because I was pregnant! I was waiting for the right moment to surprise you! I was trying so had to keep it a secret until the right time, you jerk!”
All the color ran from Andrew’s face. He started to realize the mistake he had made. Jenna did love him, she finally conceived. In a sudden moment, pain flooded and washed over him, surged within him as he realized the gravity of his mistake. Jenna’s anger was roaring and becoming more and more insatiable. She stomped her way into the kitchen and grabbed the butcher knife from the knife block. Jessica was following in after her, but before she could say anything, Jenna spun on her heals and jabbed the blade into Jessica’s tender throat. Jessica was clenching her bleeding neck, trying to avoid death, as Jenna eased the dying girl to floor very quietly. By the time Jessica’s head touched the floor, she was dead, still clutching her neck.
Jenna put her hands behind her back, like a mischievous child trying to hide something. Her eyes were sharp and piercing, almost like they were more deadly than the blade concealed behind her. Andrew placed his hands on Jenna’s shoulders as she left the kitchen. He had no idea of what lay beyond the hall.
“Jenna, I’m sorry. I never knew you actually loved me. I never knew you proved it to me…I never knew you were pregnant.”
An eerily calm smile caressed Jenna’s face as she leaned into his chest for the hug he was trying for. She moved her hands and blade behind him, he never noticed. She moved her hands up his spine, then plunged the blood stained knife into the base of his skull. His blood flowed like a busted water main, streaming down his spine. Andrew’s eyes shot wide. Betrayal. He thought she had forgiven him, but now….
Suddenly, his daughter flashed through his mind, “What will happen to my little girl? I’m so glad she is in preschool right now. Who will take care of her? Why did I deserve this betrayal?”
He fell to floor after a minute and half. Tears flooded from Jenna’s eyes. She was still angry. It was a truly insatiable anger and she needed more. She went to Jessica and Andrew’s bedroom, rummaging through their things. She was looking for something, anything that could cure this anger. This insatiable anger that filled her soul. In a bedside drawer, she found a fully loaded pistol. This was it. She decided to sit on their bed. One last way to defile them, to prove her hatred for them. She would shed her life’s essence, her blood on their beautiful silk bedspread. On the bed they slept in every night.
She cocked the pistol, placed it next to her ear. The tears were still flowing, but a calm smile crept to her expressionless face. This was it; her anger would finally go, subside. All she had to do was pull the trigger….

The Dream, Part 1 of the Diary of Jade series

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Dear Diary,

I had that dream again. The one where I celebrate my 17th birthday in a room filled with little kids and daffodils. This time, I saw more of the magic. There were ten daffodils per year of age and I was the only one in over a century to make it past one hundred flowers. The flowers were raised out of boxes, dripping with sparkling purple water. They said my gift must be strong to be so old. Then the dream skipped forward. Somebody had found our secret haven and was trying to kill all the little kids and me. Some guy said all Daffodil Children must become extinct because of some secret decree. At least now, I know the name for all of us…Daffodil Children.

Anyway, I was trying to save the little kids, you know? So, I snuck out to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I don’t remember the magic words or spell that I said, but my reflection changed to that of a boy. He could have been my twin, we looked so much alike. Anyway, I pull him out of the mirror. Actually, I reach my hand into the mirror like it’s a pool of water and I assist him as he climbs out and steps down onto the sink, jumping to the floor. Then he totally helps me fight the bad guys. His hands had the same sparkly purple color as the water dripping off the daffodils.

The dream skips forward again. The kids are all safe and boy is back in the mirror again. He says he will always watch over me. Then he changes back into my reflection. This dream is so messed up and I keep having it. Maybe I am crazy or something.

Whatever, I am going to be late for the first day of school. I’m out.

-Jade